Crucify

*~* Crucify *~*

By: Eternal_Ukyou

Notes n’ stuff: OMG I’m entering a contest! This is for CryKat and her website Velvet Unfolding. This is my first GotenxTrunks fic, but hopefully not the last.

www.outoftheshadows.homestead.com/dream.html

Anything in italics is flashback from a previous time. Not print is the current story.

"No." My mother said to me sighing deeply. As she Paced the room. "No. Just no. This just can't be happening."

"Mother-"

" Just hush! What if your father found out! What then? What would he say?" She stopped and looked me dead in the eyes. I knew then why father feared her so much.

"I-"

"It doesn’t matter!" His mother stood up now. She looked hurt, and she hugged herself tightly, badly needing reassurance. "I won't let you near my son anymore. I trusted you, and I never through that you would ever... "She turned her back to me like I was some sort of monster.

Maybe I was.

It's not like I meant to hurt anyone. I thought they would be all right with it. I thought my mother, of all people, would be able to understand my feelings.

I was wrong. Not even my mother.

I wish I could explain to them what I'm feeling. Or beat some sense into them. I don't understand how this all could have happened. How could it have gone so very wrong? I thought they would understand me. I thought they would be all right with it.

"Chichi, come on..." I said slowly.

" Just be Quite!" My mother yelled. I shrank back. (Sure I could save the world, but I was still afraid of my mother!)

"This isn’t fair!" I stood up out of the chair.

"Stop being so childish!" My mother yelled. "Just sit down!"

"No!" God where did that come from? " I don’t have to take this!" I turned around the headed for the door.

"Come back here right now young man!" My mother demanded me, her face flushing with angry color. I just closed the door, to stop myself for getting angry with her.

"What was all the about?" Just as I came out of the door, it was my father standing there in the hallway smiling smugly. I hated how her looked just then.

"Nothing." I wanted so bad to just run all the way out of the house, but he caught me by the wrist.

"Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you boy."

"I have a name!" I shouted at him, anger boiling over in my eyes.

>BOM!< My father never did tolerate it when I yelled at him. I stood rubbing my cheek and stared at him right in the eyes. I knew he had something to say.

Damn I hated it when he looked at me like that.

" I’m disappointed in you." Was that all he could say? " I thought I raised you better than that."

My stomach dropped between my knees. ‘No’ I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to hit. I wanted to kill him.

But the more I tired to say something, do something, I couldn’t. This was my father, the man I worshiped, the man I lived to make proud. And now he says this to me. Right to me, in my face. He doesn’t know what that felt like.

It was worse than mom, worse than every person in the whole world at once.

My hands balled into tight fists at my sides, but what could I do with them? It’s not like I could hit him. This is my father we’re talking about here. No even I would be so bold. Not even in anger.

My mouth was so dry I could hardly form the words I would probably most regret.

"You don’t understand anything do you!? I love him!" He stopped and looked me, right in the eyes with more anger than he ever had before, but that quickly meted away into a deep black pool of disappointment and sadness.

"Get out of the house." He said to me coldly.

"Why?"

"Because if you don’t leave right now I’m going to smash you face in." His voice was so tense it was calm, deathly calm. I knew he was serious. He didn’t want to hit me, but he would.

I turned to go but stopped.

Why was this entire thing happening to me now? Why now? And why Can’t I make myself go? I’ve never felt quite so insecure before. I knew my father would, in fact, kill me if I stayed, but I just couldn’t go. I hadn’t done anything wrong. Why was I being punished for finding something I loved? After last night I thought things would be different, but this isn’t what I had in mind.

<I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets>

It was much to late by the time he and I left the club. But, it was all right. So what if my mother yelled at me, I was a big boy now. It didn’t matter.

He walked in front of me. His hands in the pockets of his orange starter jacket, his long black hair fell down his back covering the logo that had his name on it in kanji. He was so light hearted, especially now that he had a few drinks in him.

In front of me he stopped, directly below a yellowed street light that cast soft shadows over his sharp features. Right then he looked just like his father, like his brother, like an angel.

"It’s late." He said it like I didn’t know.

"Yea it is." I stood there, dumb founded, just outside of the streetlight’s laminate halo of light.

"I don’t want to go home." He says it like it’s nothing, casting his glance off to a building. "Do you have any capsules on you?"

"Yea." I said casually, as if my heart isn’t beating like mad in my chest. "I think I got one."

"Lets go get something to eat and then go out to the woods, alright?"

"Sure."

We walked silently, like we did before, till we found a place to stay for the night. I open the capsule; purposely I chose a small dome house with only one room. I guess it was wishful thinking, but he didn’t even say anything as we went inside.

I sat on the edge of the bed eating my microwave ramen, and he sat behind me, eating marshmallows.

"You know…" He said to me, as he rolled over on his back. "There’s only one bed in here."

"I know." I said between mouthfuls of ramen noodles.

"We’ll have to sleep together." This time it was his voice that was much to calm for his own damn good.

"It’s not we haven’t before."

"We where kids then."

"So?" I turn and look at him.

"Yea." He popped another marshmallow in his mouth.

"How do you eat those things, yuck," I said finishing off the last of my ramen and taking off my denim jacket.

"I dunno, their sweet. I like sweet things." There where a million perverted come back for that one, but I didn’t dare.

He got up to and took his jacket off. And his shirt and pants, then pulled down the blankets.

"I’m going to lay down." He said.

"I will to." I pulled off my tank top, and sat uneasily as I watched him crawl into bed wearing only his boxers. Then took off my own pants as well. When I lay down beside him, I realized how close our bodies really where. I wish they weren’t so close.

<I've been raising up my hands drive another nail in>

He spoke my name then, but it was lost as a distant storms thunder rolled across the land.

"Yes." I rolled over to face him, our noses nearly touched as we laid there in the dark. The moment of silence between us seemed blissfully endless. His hot breathe on my face, my body nearly touching his.

"Here" He said and put a marshmallow in my mouth. "Something sweet to suck on." I chewed it and swallow it with much effort. "But I know of sweeter things." I felt him move nearer to me and press his hungry phallus against my thigh. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I spoke his name softly, blushing under my lavender hair. All words after that where lost to the thunder and sudden rain that had transcended from the heavens upon us just then. The next thing I knew, his lips where on mine. And he was using his tongue to push another marshmallow between my teeth.

I didn’t know what else to do but take it. His body was so warm and inviting, so close I couldn’t stop myself when I reach out and wrapped my arms around his rock hard torso. He whispered my name again and put his face against my neck, and began to suck it softly. Chills ran down my spine.

I guess this makes me gay. But I think… I can be all right with that. I mean it’s only natural for people like us who have grown up together to have feelings for each other?

Right?

He put his hand on my chest; to push away or pull in closer I wasn’t sure. My heart beat wildly; it was thumping so loudly just then I was sure he could hear it too. The way he touched me it was like he was saying ‘don’t worry about it.’

But I did worry.

When he took me up in his arms, I could have cried. I pressed my body hungrily to his; his long hair fell gently on my face. It smelled sweetly of sweat and cologne, but then again he always smelled sweet. Like Grass and dirt, and the ever present linger of sweat from working out too much. He ran his hand through my hair and said something to the effect of ‘such beautiful lavender silk’ and I thanked god my mother had green hair. I spoke to him softly; to afraid the coarseness of my tense voice would shatter this perfect moment.

"Why is this happening?"

"Because… You know how you feel and so do I. Why do we have to keep on denying it?" He said to me gently, as if the harsh voice of the half saiyajin had some how changed into that of an angel. His hands held me tightly now, not like they had when we where children, but like an adult.

At that moment, we where adults, we where in change of our own destines and hearts.

Outside the rain roared loudly, and he spoke my name one last time before I felt his strong hand slip down my abdomen.

"Oh..!"

He held me down his with muscled arms, and impaled me deeply. I couldn’t help but cry, both tears of pain and of pleasure. It just hurt so wonderfully. It felt so bad, so dirty. Did all ‘adult things’ feel so beautifully filthy?

I got to find out, and test my theories all night.

I felt stretched out, violated, filthy, and defenseless. But I loved it. I love it because I loved him as he lay there sleeping blissfully next to me. I had never understood the true power of a super saiyajin until just then. The power of our bodies and hearts, our feeling and perceptions, all pliable by our superior alien blood. The way it felt, when we changed, the way feelings and experiences changed so drastically, was incredible. Everything because so new and exciting when we because super saiyajins. Painfully exciting. My endurance was so much higher when I become a super saiyajin under his body, my body so much able to accept him, as big as he was. Oh, only wish it could have gone on longer.

I felt much like my own person then, like I belonged to myself, and to him. And perhaps her felt like he belonged to me. Either way I loved it. I loved to feel smaller than him, even thought I had grown up boasting I was bigger and stronger than he was. But he could strip away every boast with his body. He could bring me down to his level, or up. I’m still not sure. It doesn’t matter though. It felt good, and what more was there to love?

"Go." My father said again. With less force, but all the intent of moments ago. He was moving closer to me now, slowly coming toward me. "Turn and face me, or leave." Some options I get, either way it hurts.

I don’t know why, but I turn back and face him. My expression became stiff with determination. No, I wasn’t going to back down from what I believed in, my father did teach me better than that.

As I turned his eyes went wide, (well as wide as they can for my father.) and he marched right up to me and grabbed me by the collar of my tank top, and lifted me off the ground. (It must have looked awkward, because my father is a small man in stature, and there was me, my toes just off the ground, in his hand. I can laugh about it now, I wasn’t laughing then.)

"How dare you!" He sneered at me, staring me down with a look that could kill. Down the hall I was my mother come out of the back room to watch, he eyes where filed with fear. We both knew I was as good as dead.

" Put him down!" My mother pleased loudly, my father didn’t say a word. But for a signal moment I saw his eyes dart back to look at her, then he smiled. Then I felt his grip loosen and he dropped me to the ground.

"Go outside boy!" He demanded harshly and gave me a rough shove to move forward. I stumbled and then began to move slowly. Drudgingly, I just wanted to piss him off.

I am such a masochist for doing this. A glutton for punishment, but I know, if my father beats me and I take it like a man he will respect me more. And my mother will cry and beat him up, so it will all be all right… I hope.

I just stood there like man as he threw the first punch at me. Damn it hurt to, right to my already burning jaw. But just as the pain reached my brain, then came another punch, this time to my gut. I tried desperately not to double over in pain.

Was this the price of love? Is this what it felt like when you fall in love with someone? Is this what he’s feeling right now?

Oh course not. He was much better than me. His father would understand, (Obviously his mother was going to kill him, but he could run faster then her so I wasn’t to worried.)

I didn’t have time to think about that, the pain clouded my brain, my father never hit me this hard, and since I refused to raise a power lever, or even block his blow, it really hurt like hell. But maybe if I could take it like a man, my father would respect my decision.

Doubtful, but I would take the blows for that small chance.

When all was said and done, I was sitting in the back yard, against the house, bathed in the long evening shadows, alone. I hurt all over. I don’t know what was worse, the fact that my blood was splattered all over the yard, or the fact that grandpa’s cat was licking my wounds for me. That’s what I felt like doing, actually.

I reached out and picked up the blood-splattered cat and looked it right in it’s overly large eyes.

He just mewed at me softly and licked my cheek a bit. Something like a kiss I would say, and I smiled a bit. The cat started to lick the blood from my cheek and I couldn’t help but laugh softly, it tickled. Then I patted the cat gently and sent it on its way.

<You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird>

I got to my feet and flew off; wishfully pleasant thoughts on my mind. Leaving the sounds of my mother yelling far behind me.

The wind on my raw flesh stung pleasantly, as if reminding me the pain was only temporary, it would soon pass.

<I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets>

When I woke it was late morning, and my ‘saiyajin angel’ was already up and dressed. He stood over me with a grin.

"Good morning sleeping beauty." He laughed with a gentle smile and pulled the blankets off my unclothed body. Instantly the cold air made my skin prick up and I hurried to grab the blanket back, be he was to fast for me to catch.

"Ah! Give it back!" I got up to go after him, but I was to cold, so I just sat there with my knees to my chest and waited. It only took him a few seconds to realize how cold I was and he came back with the blanket. With a goofy grin he sat down behind me, wrapped his arms around my naked body, and, draped the blanket around both of our shoulders.

The sheets where dirty with our sweat, and the blanket was filthy from my tears, but it was all right, because for that moment in time there was only him and me, and that was just fine. He kissed the back of my neck softly, his hands exploring the sweat-dried flesh of my exposed chest again and again. His hands as gentle as they had been the night before, It made my body hungry for him again, I felt my back arch, my legs open and my hips come up. I knew it must have looked horrible, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted him so bad.

His breath felt steamy on the back of my neck, it made all the hair there stand on end. A soft moan slipped from my lips, and I closed my eyes and lay my head back on his shoulder thrusting my hips up ward, my sex being for his attention

"You need so much don’t you?" He said playfully, putting her strong hand on my sex. It immediately perked up under the heat of his hands. "You parents need to pay more attention to you…"

"Oh… no… I only want you to see me…" I said softly, the weakness, and feeling of ineptness flooding back as he touched me firmly. He kissed my neck now and the under side my chin, letting his tongue trace my sharp jaw line. I had to bite my lower lip to keep a soft whimper in.

<I've been raising up my hands>

He held my firmly, but gently. His hands seemed so big as he pumped me to a full, upright position. I moaned loudly, I didn’t care. No one could hear or see me but him. I was so hungry for him I could have died had he not picked me up and laid me on my stomach. I put my knees under myself and pulled a pillow under my head, as I waited in anticipation as her took of his jacket.

"Now…" He said softly. "I want to play a little game with you…" He ran his finger over my tight anus. I could only moan as if begging him not to. But then he slipped his middle finger inside me, wiggling it about to loosen be. He did this till he could get four of his finger in me. I was moaning and begging him with my body but he didn’t pay any mind.

Then he did something I never thought he would do. He reach down and picked the bag of marshmallows up from the floor. "Now if you drop these I’m going to be very mad at you."

"On my go…" I whimpered as he pushed the first marshmallow inside me. "What are you going to do with that…no…" I flinched again as she pushed another inside me.

They where a soft and easily fit, but it was so awkward, so disgraceful. I buried my face in the pillow and closed my eyes as one after another was pushed deeply into me until I felt so full that I would surely push them all out.

Then he stood up, taking his hands off me. That was the worst. I instantly felt alone. The bed seemed endless empty from my low point of view. My rear burned with pain and frustration. I didn’t want candy, I wanted meat!

Then he stood in front of me, as if teasing me, and pulled off his shirt. Slowly, as if he was trying to drive me insane. We wasn’t even trying, he was doing a damn good job.

I felt like a captive of my own body, of my own weakness. I had never felt quite like this before, unable to help myself. I almost hated it, but I knew he enjoyed watching me squirm. He liked feeling bigger than me I bet, because I was always better than him.

It’s funny really, how childhood scars can affect your love life.

I wanted to close my eyes as his hands went for the fly of his pants. No, don’t show me that! I would simply die…

Damnit I died and went to heaven and all the angels look like him. But it was strange, just as this thought crossed my mind I swore, the way the sun streaming in the window it almost looked like he had a halo. God, now I knew he was a saiyajin angel. And angel that would save me from this cross I hung on.

I would worship him all day, if he would only take me, and stop teasing me senselessly with these god be damned marshmallows.

Then we was gone form my vision, for a moment, I was afraid he had left me. I soon felt his soft lips on my back, lower and moving slowly lower toward where the sweets that where hidden inside me. I whimpered and moaned into the soft linen of the pillow as he drew closer to where they hid. Slowly, he dung his fingers inside me and began to pull the objects of torment from me. I don’t know what he did with them really, but the next thing I knew he was lapping the sugar from my skin.

My cock was raging now, and I had to bite my lip to keep my moans in. I protested my body as I felt my hips want to buck and shove his tongue deeper into me.

"Oh… please… stop teasing me…" My voice was thin, and it felt jagged coming out of my mouth. He didn’t say anything but lifted his mouth from my flesh. Oh, it felt cold with out him on me. I could feel the wind blowing through the empty hallow inside my body. I knew then, that no matter how I tried, everyone would be able to see this gaping whole he had torn in me with his body. It had felt so full last night, but now it was empty.

"Please…" I whimpered again. "Please…" He laughs softly and patted my back, as if I where some sort of amusing toy.

And perhaps I was.

He put his hands on my back again, I could feel him rising up behind me, his tip was moist and he pushed very slowly into my loose end. I did my very best to relax, to let him deep inside me. I was so happy to feel him deep inside of me. He did me so gently, no one but him ever treated me like that. No one, but him.

He was waiting for me, it seemed, when I flew up to his house. I landed shakily, but hit my knees with pain. I had almost forgotten the beating I had received from my father. He came to me and put my arms over his shoulder.

"You told you dad about us didn’t you?" He whispered softly as he helped me limp into his house.

"Yea." I smirked a bit at his gentleness. "You mom wasn’t to happy either. I wouldn’t be surprised if she came storming in here in a few hours."

"We’ll be asleep by then." He smiled as he opened the door to his room. He helped me to sit on his bed.

"She is going to kill you."

"I don’t mind at all. If you can endure your father’s strength, I can surely take care of my mother. I don’t so much mind getting yelled at. When I tell her…" he stopped and smiled at me. "When I tell her how much I love you… she’ll just shut up. My brother did the same thing to her." The grin was almost evil, but some how seductive. "I’ll go get something to clean your cuts with. Stay right there." He got up and left the room. I felt that hallow in me again.

And sure enough, just as soon as he got me patched up his mother and my mother came tearing across the field in one of mom’s hover cars. When I saw this I swore under my breath.

"Our moms are coming." He swore too.

"I’ve got an idea." He said swiftly. Standing on the bed he lifted up a trap door in the ceiling, it obviously went to the attic. "Come on." He flew up into the attic and I was quick to follow him. We shut the door behind us.

"This isn’t going to make it any better, that we’re hiding from them. Their going to kill us both if they find us."

"They won’t find us." He smiled and landed softly on the solid wood floor.

The attic was dark with only one tiny skylight. It was empty save for a futon that was folded in the far corner.

"My brother used to hide up here a lot. Mom never found him. Don’t worry." Fed up with my limping, he simply scooped me up in his strong arms and flew over the floor to there the futon lay. He unfolded it quickly and laid me down on it and smiled, as if satisfied.

"What is it?" I asked, his dark chocolate eyes washed over me, I could feel his gaze linger on me.

"I want to have you."

"Why now…?" I whispered back, suddenly hearing our mothers enter down stairs.

"You look so pitiful, all beaten up like that… I love the way you look." He dropped to his knees, one leg on either side of mine. Before I could protest his hands where pulling off my shirt, undoing my pants.

"Oh…" I sigh deeply closing my eyes tightly. For only a fleeting moment I worried about getting caught.

He took me so roughly, slamming me hard just as soon as I was loose enough to take it all. He bit my neck roughly, gripped my shoulder with all his strength.

Right then I felt myself become full again, and I knew what the feeling was. Only for a moment I was able to pin point it.

That was love, real love inside me.

His love for me. My love for him. All of it became one as he pumped into me deeply. All of it made sense, and it didn’t feel quite so dirty.

That’s when I stared to cry. I don’t know why the tears came, but they did. I buried my face in the musty smelling futon.

I could almost see what our mothers where doing down stairs.

"Do you hear that?" My mother would say and listen for another sound.

"Hear what?"

Up in the attic, I moaned loudly, as did he, as his released his sweet tears into me.

"What! Did you hear that?" My mother would say again.

"Oh that… it’s just doves."

I laid there silently, my heart thumping wildly in my chest. I held my angle’s body tightly to mine. His chest heaved with heavy breath. We laid there for half an eternity, it seemed, bathed in the bliss of one another.

Then down stairs I heard something I feared more than anything. His father came in the door with a loud hello and I knew he knew we where here. He could feel us; he could sense our power levels.

"Oh, the boys are here? Where are they?" he asked his wife, I’m sure with a big grin. She replied, but I couldn’t hear her because she spoke softly.

<I've been raising up my hands>

I tried to shake him to awareness but he was so close to sleep he only grumbled and yawned.

We where dead men if his father came up here and found us here. I tried to push him off me, but he clung tightly. So we lay, his pants open, me totally naked, and I could feel his father drawing closer to us. He knew exactly where we where hiding.

I heard his father very close now, he was whistling, but our mother where not with him, their voices reminded in the kitchen. I don’t know what was worse, the fact that I was competently unclothes, or the fact that I was beaten and bruised. But if his father responded like mine did…. I squeezed my eyes closed.

I waited for his father’s voice to come, to yell my name. But it never came… when I dared to open my eyes his father was floating over us, smiling simply.

"This is where his brother used to hide too." He whispered casually.

"I…" I didn’t really know what to say, I felt so naked, so exposed.

" It’s alright. Just keep it down or your mothers will hear." I nodded quickly to this, feeling as if I where a child again. He flashed a smile one last time, and floated back down the out of the attic door.

I held his sleeping figure to me closely. That wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it wasn’t bad at all.

I was glad someone wasn’t going to make me crucify myself for the love of this boy.

~**OWARI**~

GotenXTrunks forever!!!