Exposure
By: Choclate-chan
Warnings/spoilers: Don't read too much hentai into the title, there's enough in the story, as well as "lemon"ade for all!

I walked into Goten's room on silent feet, a shuffle that was dulled by the carpeting. He was crying. I knew he would be. Goten maintained such a careful balance of emotions to keep the positive on the outside, and I knew this would definitely throw him off balance for a while.
Me? Well.. no one knows about me. So it doesn't really matter if I don't either, does it.
I ended up sinking to a seat on the end of his bed, and I looked at him. His knees were drawn up, his face buried where I couldn't see, his arms wrapped around his knees hiding his face from view. But I could see it in the set of his shoulders, the occasional jerk of his body, could hear him trying to hold his breath to keep the sobs in. I could practically smell it on him. I don't know if that had something to do with how well we knew each other, or..
My mind wandered for a moment before I pulled it back to the scene, but I couldn't bring myself to touch Goten, and he wouldn't look at me. I waited.
When Goku-san called my mother and I here, I was curious.. he doesn't really ever make an effort to get in touch with my family even though he and my mother were close as kids. He was never the one to talk to us. So I had wondered, where was Chichi?
I sighed softly, and let myself fall back onto Goten's bed. He had been tilting slightly, and my bouncing the bed made him fall over onto his side, but he countinued to hide his face, curling into a small ball around himself. I watched him, wanting to say something, wanting him to stop crying. I came here because my mother held tight to me, and I couldn't bear to hear her cry.
At last. At last as if sensing my volatile mixture of emotions, Goten's eyes appeared over his knees, peering at me. Well, glaring at me, but he wasn't really glaring at me. Maybe he was angry that I saw him cry. Tears fell onto the bedcovers, and he said nothing to me.
I turned onto my side. It was quite a contrast, I know; he cried bitterly, and I sat like a stone. There was no way I could cry if I wanted to. At last I brought myself to reach over, and I touched his face with one fingertip, drawing it along one line made from tears, and I wiped away those I touched. Goten's eyes clouded more if possible, almost like he wanted to slap my hand away, but didn't dare. Why wouldn't he dare? He knows he can hit me whenever he wants and it will make no difference.
He sniffled and took a few gasping, inaudible breaths. He relaxed after a moment, and I was allowed to touch him, wiping the tears away from his face gently although in a moment they would be replaced with more tears. I wouldn't be able to touch him later like this.
After what happened, this is what I thought of? If my father were here, however, he would scoff at all the tears. If Chichi were here...
"Why?" Goten croaked.
Why? Why what? Why am I touching him? Why aren't I crying? Why aren't they...
"Why aren't they..." More tears came to Goten's eyes, and he finished slowly, stumbling over his words, which was rare for him. "Why.. ar-aren't they here?"
My eyes slipped closed a bit, as though inquiring if he really wanted me to answer. Usually when Goten asked me questions, he intended to have an answer.
"What happened?" Goten said, losing composure even more. I really hated seeing him cry.
"You know as well as I why they're not here," I informed him, sounding harsh to myself, and Goten seemed a little shocked. He pulled away from my hand, wiping his tears away with the pillow he grabbed and sitting with his still slightly damp face out of arm's reach of me.

It was a freak accident, they said. Yeah, okay. I guess I can accept that. But my father hardly left the house, and the areas where he trained. He had been coming back from just such a training trip when it happened. Ironic, ne?
They said a bus crashed into a gas station, igniting the tanks there, and several cars nearby as gas fire spread. The next building was back-to-back with a store, where Chichi had gone on an infrequent trip into Satan City for things she couldn't get out in the middle of nowhere where they lived. All I know was that her body was found in the wreckage, crushed by the building frame. My father was found next to her.
I guess, since it was on the way home, he stopped to buy some such thing he had run out of on his little wilderness trip. I suppose he met up with Goten's mother there by chance, and then..
These are just the morbid thoughts that occupy my mind as I lay on Goten's bed and try to ignore him, sitting across from me and trying to hold in his tears.
My father was strong enough to lift the wreckage that trapped Goten's mother, and there was really no reason why he wouldn't. But they found evidence of what was only described to us as 'jagged fragments' in his head. We weren't allowed to see the body. I suppose for him death was instantaneous. That was why Chichi died.
It sounds sadder every time the words pass through my head; a string of freak coincidences that lead to the death of two people who were important to us. Sadder, as in a manufactured story of some type. But you could say there was physical evidence that proved it.
Goku seemed like stone too. But my mother had fallen to her knees when she heard that Vegeta was dead. I wondered if Goku was going to break down later on, if maybe he kept up this face so that my mother and I wouldn't be afraid.
I don't honestly care.
I don't remember feeling exactly the way I did now, ever. I felt as though I could fall asleep on Goten's bed and never move again. I was usually such a physical person.
If I could move, I could train. If I could train, I could think, and thinking lead to swifter resolution. But I couldn't have moved if everything depended on it.
Within reason. For some reason, something on Goten's face made me want to move, and I sat up on my heels and looked at him across the bed. His face was tight, pale, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. I sighed, long and low, feeling a tremor pass through my as I did.
I moved, he didn't notice. He seemed very surprised when I reached out and grabbed him, and pulled him against me.
"Come off it," I told him softly in his ear. "You can't hide anything from me."
Goten sobbed. That was the entire response I got, before his face buried itself against me and I could feel renewed tears soaking my clothing. My father would be disappointed if I was upset by his death like Goten was upset over his mother's. I would not cry, even if it meant I wouldn't feel. Goten felt enough for both of us, at any rate.
I felt his arms come up around me, holding on to me. I managed to keep my impulses down in time, but it didn't change the fact that I wanted to pull him into my lap and wipe his face dry. I wanted to see clear dark pools regarding me before our mouths met slowly and passionately....
I felt my muscles tighten as I fought it off, telling myself that that was the worst possible thing to think of...
... Even if I were brave enough to do it. I didn't want to dwell on it anymore. My mind wanted to be free long enough to scream or break or rain down destruction-
Calm down.
Breathe.
I opened my eyes to look at Goten. He was unnaturally still. His hand was dug into my shirt over my upper arm, and his face was wet but still, from facial expressions to tears. His weight fell more against me, and if he wasn't asleep I couldn't tell.

I laid Goten down after a long time, when I was sure that he slept. I moved out of his room and down the hall slowly, with the same silent step I'd used in following Goten after he ran out of the front room. Goku told us all at once.
My mother looked old. I peered out into the living room where Goku sat next to her on the couch, his face still dry and still as Goten's in repose. It was one of the few differences between them, that Goku had the years to be solemn, and Goten was always a wonderful ray of sunshine no matter what. Even when he was upset he still made me happy. Maybe I'm just weird. Maybe I'm just obsessed with him.
She dabbed at her face with a tissue, and Goku picked up one of her shaky hands and wrapped it around a cup of tea. She looked grateful, but didn't entirely meet his gaze. She took a drink, then a longer one, and wiped her face until it was dry.
"Growing up, you never would have guessed, would you?" My mother said softly. "That I would love someone like Vegeta. But I did, no matter what he did."
"I understand," Goku said. He looked off until my mother had taken another drink and asked him softly, "Why was he there in the first place?"
"I think you know why."
I felt my eyes narrow. What in the seven hells were they talking about? He wasn't there for any particular reason.....
"Yeah, I guess I do," My mother said.
What weren't they telling Goten and I?
"It's ironic, though," she continued, "That after all that, you and I are left behind, and we're still upset."
"I don't believe in irony," Goku demurred. He didn't bother to explain that, however, and my mother looked at him for a moment.
"Knowing you, I don't want to ask what you mean by that." She moved as though to rise to her feet, but Goku stopped her.
"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." He looked at her, seeming slightly concerned, but she simply nodded and got to her feet.
I disappeared back into Goten's room, dimly recalling having left my shoes there. Goten was still fast asleep, and I couldn't help but pause and look at him.
Even after something like this, he drives thoughts of anything else from my mind. I was almost afraid to leave. I know I'll think about it at home. I picked up my shoes and brushed some of his messy hair from his face, where it had been caught between slightly parted lips.
Why are you always what I think of, Goten? I bid him a silent goodbye at that as my mother knocked on the door and said to me in a heavy voice, "Let's go."
I followed her from the house silently, and climbed into the car beside her. "Daijoubu desu ka?" I inquired after a moment, a bit concerned for her.
"I'm just..." and Bulma Briefs was silent. Okay, so she wasn't okay but she would be eventually. Still, I know she must have loved him a lot. It was strange how little I could feel. Goten used to tell me that I was a cold-hearted bastard, although he usually said it in play; I often wondered if he was right. Somehow I couldn't muster more than a little sadness that he was gone for good now. Forever.
"And you, Trunks?"
I made a show of thinking of it, although I had already thought of nothing else. "I'll be okay, Mama. Besides, he would probably be annoyed if we were too emotional."
"Is that what you think?" My mother asked me with a soft voice. I wanted to say something but her words drove mine away.
"Wakarimasen, Kaa-san." I turned my face toward the window and she left me alone for the trip home. When the car stopped I found myself wanting to take off into the air rather than be present when Kaa-san told Bra, who would cry and probably scream or try to run.
It seemed like a little while, but Bra eventually ran out the front door of the house and I caught her as she flashed by the car. She screamed and thrashed her little arms and legs against me and yelled that it was a lie; I held her tightly and said nothing. After a little while she wore herself out, panting so hard she could barely speak. She hiccuped and cried silently and I pulled her against my chest, letting her hold onto me and cry as Goten had done. Only after she was finished and breathing normally I took her upstairs, gave her a bath and put her to bed although it was still light out. Bra was asleep in no time, though her silent tears continued until the moment she lost consciousness.
I walked downstairs slowly, into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator door and looked in, vaguely hungry but nearly sick at the thought of food. Kaa-san was in her study with the door closed, and I looked at the door as I passed by again and fought the urge to knock. What had she and Goku been talking about? That question more than any other threatened to blow my stability. But after a long, long time and a good deal of willpower involved, I walked away from the door, unwilling to ask what might be a personal, even painful question when she had just had such a devastating blow. Instead I moved back up the stairs, listened at my sister's door to be sure if she was okay, and finally laid on my own bed, falling asleep some time when the sun began to fall from the sky.

When I woke again the light was gray, and my room was pleasantly cool, with warmth that accompanied the scent of something like meat cooking. Why would meat be cooking? I really didn't think Kaa-san would eat.
Unable to bring myself to care at the moment, I rolled onto my stomach and pulled the thick covers up over my face and ears.
I yawned slightly. I must not have slept very long, if it was still getting dark out. After a moment there was a soft noise, but I figured it was my fan clicking; it did that sometimes.
I was startled, however, when a weight crashed onto me, and I could feel warmth even through the sheets. I groaned slightly and sucked in air to replace that which had been knocked from my stomach. After a moment I pulled the covers down slightly, to see Goten's face peering into mine almost mournfully.
I paused for a long moment that I hoped he took for shock, thinking only about the fact that Goten was in my bed, on top of me. After a moment I was able to blink, as Goten asked me softly, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. What makes you so concerned all of a sudden?" I asked, as his voice was gentler than any tone I had ever heard him use with me.
"I was just worried... you've been asleep for two full days, and I-"
"What?" I blinked. "Funny."
"I'm serious. Bulma-san said not to wake you.." Goten looked me over carefully as I turned to look at my clock, the one on my desk that had the little days on it too. Sure enough.
"What the hell.." I muttered, then rubbed my eyes, suddenly feeling as if I had been running or something for two days instead.
"You really didn't wake up? I figured you were just staying in bed, and if you were doing that..." Goten shrugged and sat up, and looked toward the window. "I was just worried."
I don't know if the repetition of his words gave them more credence, but they did make me pause and think as I swung my feet down to the floor.
"Gomen nasai," I said at last with a shrug as I leaned forward, bringing some blood flow into my brain in order to think. "I'm.. kinda hungry."
Goten blinked as though surprised and tilted his head, wildish hair falling to the side. "I should think so, I mean, I've never gone two full days without eating before. Even if it's just to wake up, raid the fridge and go back to sleep."
I paused and looked at him for a moment. His complexion was usually rather pale, but he looked eggshell-fragile now, although emotionally he seemed somewhat more stable.
"Are you alright?" I asked him after a moment, and Goten sighed and nodded.
"Are you coming to dinner? I'm hungry." Goten said it solemnly, not with the anticipating face he usually wore at the thought of food. I looked at him for a long moment and told him I would take a shower first.
"Hey, didn't we have classes today?"
"Yeah." Goten shrugged. "Your mother said absolutely don't bother you, so no one has." He seemed to think about it as I rose to pull something suitable from my drawers. "She said something about Saiyans subconsciously channeling their frustrations into other activities, such as eating or fighting or sleeping, so no one was allowed to wake you." Goten repeated it with a blank face, so I was unsure as to whether they were his words or if he understood it or not.
He sat in a rather dejected pose on the edge of my bed, and I turned and looked at him. "Why are you here?"
"My brother made me come. He's downstairs with Dad, Videl and little Pan." Goten shrugged one shoulder, and I turned away. Leaving the room I took the quickest shower I could manage, and came back to my room where Goten still sat on the edge of the bed playing with something or other he had taken from my shelves.
"Come on," I told him at last, a little sympathetic that his family would be so worried about him when he obviously wanted to be left alone. "Let's get lost somewhere. They probably won't mind." He only shrugged one shoulder and I went downstairs meeting the surprised glance of my mother as I told her Goten and I would be going out.
"Trunks, are you sure you-" she cut herself off and nodded finally.
"Arigatou, mama." I went upstairs and opened the window as I asked Goten where he wanted to go. He didn't really reply so I simply took off out of the window and was closely followed by him.
"I think there's someplace you and I need to go," I told him simply when he asked.
I know Goten pretty well by this stage in life. He had probably spent the entire time I was asleep inside his house, not leaving for the world. He had that careless look about his face and clothing, the kind that Chichi never tolerated when he went out of the house. Goten had unbeknownst to himself picked up quite a few unconscious habits that could be traced to her. His careless style concerned me. It was like he had just rolled out of bed. His hair always looked like that anyway. Sexy, but...
I let my mind sink below me into the shadows as I flew straight facing the rising moon. It was full. Looking at it made my blood start to itch, but it had no other effect other than mild distraction, fortunately. Goten said nothing, where usually he would never shut up. I usually kept the companionable silence, which meant listening to him talk and talk. But now he didn't and I irrationally began to miss it. He bumped against me in the air and caused me to shiver with electricity, but didn't apologize or comment, or even move away. His warmth was reassuring.
I landed at a spot inside formal stone gates, and as Goten landed I heard his breath hitch in his chest, but he was still as though he didn't dare argue about being where we were. I found my way among the rows as though by instinct, and when I came to a stop I was facing the only gravestone in sight with only a first name; the only one of such in the Briefs plot.
Goten was too quiet.
"I missed it. I really didn't mean to do that. I was surprised mother didn't wake me for the funeral." I looked around, seeing several of the covers up over holes in the ground where other innocents killed in the same incident were still to be buried.
"It was such a waste," I comment with a rather rough voice. I find myself feeling warm in the face and fighting the urge to sniff. Goten stands by my side, close, and the cold wind is blocked from my body by his. He holds one hand to his chest as though fighting some emotion, but is so silent I feel the urge to hold him and tell him that whatever he feels is okay.
"Do I seem cold?" I wait for a moment for Goten to answer, but he wouldn't, that. "I know I must. I do miss him. From the moment I heard the words I could feel his permanent absence. But I have trouble crying because it feels so much like my entire life. He always was an absence in my heart. But I do miss him."
Goten speaks his first word for a long time: "Trunks..."
I wait, and he doesn't continue. I'm selfishly glad; if he did I might break down. Instead I force it away again and consider him instead. "Would you like to see it?"
Goten's face takes on an angular shadow of the moon as he tilts his head. His eyes glitter dully as they stare at his feet. "I-I don't know if..."
"Yeah." I nod at last. "It's okay," I tell him, and offer him my hand. To my ultimate surprise he takes it, looking as though he needs it. We move through the rows together until we come upon Son Chichi.
I take a moment to pay my respects silently, and now I am sad. Chichi was a good woman, no matter her shortcomings. She did the best she knew how with her children. She always treated me well, like one of her own.
I am interrupted by a labored sound, and Goten is staring at the stone with large wet eyes. His eyes are darker than the shadows the moonlight throws to reside on the ground, and he is tense, gripping my hand. He closes his eyes, as though it's happening all over again for him, and I feel selfish again in coming here when it's causing him so much pain. I hold his hand and wait, fighting myself until Goten turns from me and the stones, and I can no longer hold in the urge to touch him, gripping his shoulders and drawing him near me, not touching, but enough that I can feel warmth radiate from his body. When I pass a hand over his cheek it is hot. Goten looks at me and I know I'm moving beyond what I have the right to do, but I can't help myself and the feelings hidden in his gaze are unresenting.
"It's not fair," he whispers at last, and I can say nothing. But as his silence wears on, his gaze searching mine, I find myself meeting his eyes evenly.
"I'm sorry I brought you here." I have to take responsibility for him, after all. Goten seems vulnerable now, and he takes larger breaths as though the walls were closing in on him.
I pull him into the air with me.

I don't know how long we were gone, but when we arrive at Capsule Corp. no one is up, if they are even there. I pull Goten inside with me silently, and sit him on my bed.
I leave the door cracked and move down the hall to find clothes for him to sleep in. I glance down the opposite hallway at the head of the stairs where my mother's bed is, and hear nothing. I return to the room to find Goten fast asleep with his face buried into my pillow. I set the clothes I brought him aside and find myself sitting on my bed and examining him. His face is composed now, but I remember only his despairing expression from earlier and once again wish there were some way I could comfort him.
I know I need to be honest, to myself at least. I want him to feel better, but for myself right now, I want to touch him. I grip my hands into fists as I tell myself not to, but it's like a need that becomes immediate the moment you are told you can no longer fulfill it, like breathing or blinking.
"Ah, Goten.." His name goes unheeded, only he shifts onto his back and makes a small sound. I feel myself slowly losing it, until I'm laying down over him, pulling us together into a position where we fit close like puzzle pieces. He moves into me, and I can feel my breathing escalate as I hold him. I just wanted to touch him...
He is so warm, so unbelievably solid and so real, real as he has always been only more so. His breathing stirs my hair softly, his chest rising and falling as it can with me lying on top of him. My hand wanders against my will, over his cheek, cupping soft skin with my palm. He is silent, lashes flutter briefly and then rest once more on his cheekbones, also soft beneath my touch.
Unaware if ever or not I slept, the only thing I know was that I was there close to him for a long time, and if I slept I woke again to the same sight. After what seemed many hours of simply pondering his face, I moved until my lips grazed his cheek, feeling the softness of his cute face, his scent becoming absorbed into me. My lips move and brush his lips slowly, as soft as possible, as long as I dare, before trying it again.
This time he moves a hand up as though he feels something in his sleep, but it only encounters my cheek and he doesn't wake. His chin shifts as he moves, pressing his lips tighter to mine. Unable to pull away, I only melt inside myself, not knowing if I'm brave enough to take his mouth with mine.
As his breath hits my face it becomes even more difficult for me, feeling his body pressed tightly to mine and doing nothing about it. After a long moment more of my own needs become evident, and I open my mouth slightly, tongue tracing his lips gently, causing a shiver to go through him and then me. He tastes nothing like I had imagined.
Please Goten... Almost aloud. Almost begging. I want to so badly...
When his body shifts again against me, I gasp inaudibly and feel my will crumble.
Please.. Goten... My mouth presses to his, and I feel his brow furrow slightly, moving away now. I can't, won't let him go, and I kiss him softly, memorizing the feel of his lips until his ceaseless movements turn his head aside.
"The idea..." I murmur in his ear softly, surprised with the roughness of my own voice. "Sweet Goten..." He is indeed. Here I pause and taste his lips again, growing hard as I remain in such close contact with him. "Is to open your mouth..."
Goten's eyes open slowly, and he looks up at me filled with sleep and uncertainty. "Why?" He asks softly at last, his eyes dark and unreadable. I know he can feel me against him, and he pauses for a long, long time before he asks it.
For some reason I feel less than guilty. I know I should, but... "So that I can kiss you," I murmur to him, looking down at him without blinking.
Goten's eyes widen slightly and their darkness gives his china-fine skin contrast. "Why?" He asks, brow still furrowed.
Do I just admit what was on my mind? My mouth moves without consulting my brain. "So that I can seduce you, of course." Yeah, smooth. It doesn't help that I sound as though I would really do it, my voice a low one, near a growl that I was unfamiliar with. Of course, I would.
Goten swallows and his eyes move over my face slowly, and when he speaks again his voice is a bare whisper. "Why?"
"Because I love you." Although imprudent, this is the truth and I have known it in my heart for some time. My voice threatens to break on it though, and Goten is silent. His body shivers again as my full implications hit him, and I find my own body echoing his once more, leaving me unsteady and dizzy. Before we can reach an impasse my mouth moves down and coaxes his open for me without giving him the choice.
Goten gasps and his mouth remains open as he freezes in place. I do not give him the chance to back away at first, my mouth closing onto his as my tongue moves in and wraps about his, drawing him out to me, feeling warmth spread through me through my connection with him. After a long tender kiss, I pull back enough to see his eyes.
Goten looks shaken, more uncertain than before, and his breathing is quicker beneath me. I kiss him again, drawing as much as I could from the moment. In another heartbeat he may send me away from him never to be near again. But Goten is still silent, and I suddenly feel the need to have a reaction from him.
As this kiss continues, I drop my legs from on his onto either side of him, pulling back as much as I could without giving up the taste of him, to straddle his thighs. I move up slowly, brushing my own length over his, and Goten shudders slightly. I have to hold myself tightly to keep control, but I manage as Goten's mouth presses more tightly to mine.
It is our first real kiss, the first one shared and not stolen, and I know even more when he returns my kiss just how much I need him. I want him to know that, but words flee my mind at the concept of giving them to him, and I am left with silence and my body to convince him to stay and be with me. My hands grip him as I move against him again, eliciting further response. Goten takes a breath and his hands fist in my clothing as I feel him growing hard against me. I have to keep from making a noise when I move against him thus.
As my mouth drops his from the prolonged kiss I gasp his name, but he is looking up at me, breathing hard and staring into my eyes, waiting to be touched again. It doesn't take me long, moving my hands down over him as our mouths meet deeper.
He takes a breath as my hands meet skin, pushing his shirt up over his head and my hands tracing perfect muscles, tensed at my touch, and as my mouth moves slowly down his neck my thumbs brush nipples already slightly hardened from the chill evening. Goten murmurs something I don't hear, but he doesn't repeat it. Instead I undress him slowly, my hands wanting to shake with immediate need and anticipation.
Goten moves his hips up from the bed as I slide off the rest of his clothing, helping me, and after that I am left just staring at him in something like stupefication, amazed. He is truly beautiful, to me.
Goten's gaze is on mine with a slight frown on his mouth. I stop and banish it with my mouth as my touch takes him in. I can't believe this is happening...
I banish the thought as Goten's hand finds its way into my hair and makes a fist there against my scalp, his other hand gripping my waist. When he tugs at my clothing, I realize I am still dressed, and he helps me remedy that quickly, tossing the clothing away hastily, until we are left shivering and pressing against each other, taking warmth and trading desire. My mouth moves down to trace once more the muscles I had felt before, moving down until I can take him into my mouth. Goten gasps as my mouth goes down onto him, and hands grip at my shoulders, pulling as though to stop me, but when I don't he definitely doesn't protest. My mouth moves as low around him as I can, and Goten is breathing harder and his hips try to move up into me more than I've allowed. I hold his hips down, and his grip on my shoulders sharpens as he turns his fingernails into me.
I ignore the trickle of blood on my skin and concentrate only on him, moving my tongue around him, my hand moving to encircle him where I can't lick. I hear my name move past his lips, and again, as though begging me to stop, but it's far too late. Maybe he only wants more. If that's the case then I give it to him, suckling harder and harder until Goten's breath hitches behind his gritted teeth and emerges in a deep-throated moan as he comes.
Whatever I'm not quick enough to swallow I clean from his body slowly, letting him breathe and gather himself again. When I move back up and take his head in my hands to kiss him again, he looks at me, dazed and incredulous. "Trunks..."
I don't want him to finish that. I press my lips to his and kiss him deeply, my longing increased by the new flavors of him. He can taste himself on me, and kisses back for a moment just wondering about that. After a time I move myself to press against his leg, rubbing slowly against his soft inner thigh, drawing a small moan from myself.
Goten's eyes open to mine again and he nods once as if granting me freedom for the moment to do whatever I need. I settle myself between his legs until there's no question of what I'll do, but Goten just gives me a slightly less certain frown and nod.
I take a moment to draw him into a kiss as my hand moves down to him, touching him tenderly at the entrance to his body, before one finger moves into him, stroking, stretching, and Goten's body tightens under mine. My other hand moves beneath him and down his back, stopping low and stroking the one place that brings his hips off the bed with pleasure, grinding against me.
I can feel that he is hard again already, and I move my fingertips over the one spot again as I slip another finger into him along with the first. After a moment that leaves his breathing ragged, I bring the touch on his back just to the lightest strokes, waiting for the moment when he-
Goten cries out slightly as my fingers brush a spot deep within him, and his hands clutch at me, bringing more bruises and cuts from his strong grip. I move my fingers there again, slowly, watching as his face contorts with a whimper and his body presses to mine, making me want to die or be in him.
So I move to take him, and my fingers brush the scar on his lower back as I enter him in one smooth thrust. I take a moment as he tightens around me too much to move, a moment just looking at his face.
Goten.. but my mind offers up nothing, except the need to move again. I haven't exactly done this often, being obsessed with Goten for as long as I can recall having romantic feelings. It's totally indescribable for me. After a moment he has relaxed somewhat, and I pull back, and thrust into him again, and he breathes unevenly. After another moment of slow movements, I can tell when I've touched the right place within him.
Goten tightens more, but I can only shudder in delight at the sensation, moving harder into him as I brush that spot, and Goten presses himself up between us, hardness rubbing my stomach as our pace increases. I think momentarily about satisfying him again, but his legs adjust around me and I am self-absorbed once more. I close my eyes and hold onto him tightly as I move faster and harder, feeling his hips thrust back against mine the harder I move.
My eyes begin to feel damp, and I squeeze them tightly shut as I move with him, concentrating on his warmth beneath me and the feel of him surrounding me, until finally a light bursts behind my eyes and I come, hard, body snapping rigid as Goten comes a second time. I ignore the wetness and let myself sink against him, my face pressed to the side of his, breathing him in and murmuring his name, clumsy upon my lips.
Goten trembles with the aftermath, or is that me? I don't want to find out, loving this sensation of being him and being myself for the moment. I pull out of him and lay silent on him, feeling his arms around me and holding him against me. Goten's breathing evens slowly, and after what seems forever he opens his eyes and moves so that he is looking at my face.
I reluctantly open my eyes and wipe them casually as though I had something in them other than tears, returning his look. His emotions were all there in his eyes, but all mixed together; I could read amazement and confusion, horror and gratification, supreme reluctance to accept as he looked at me.
I remember suddenly his eyes earlier in the evening in the graveyard, and recall the confusion that seemed dominant then as well. I feel a sudden regret that it happened now, that.. wait.
Was I taking advantage of Goten?
The thought horrified me. But what if I had just now? He was confused and upset and I knew it. So was it wrong? I tried to tell, looking at his face, but I could read nothing definate there.
"Goten," I murmured at last, swallowing. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have..." As I look for words, Goten lies beneath me and watches, some kind of movement struggling to break out of his body. After a moment he pushes me from him, a violent movement, and struggles away.
"Goten, matte!" I cry and grip his arm, bringing him to a stop as he moved onto the floor. He looked at me over the edge of the bed with tears forming in his eyes, and I watched him in shock and guilt. Goten pressed his free hand over his face as tears fell. I moved to the edge of the bed and over, pulling him to me as he cried silently. "I'm sorry.."
Goten said nothing to me, and allowed himself to remain for a moment, then shook his head suddenly and tried with all his might to break away. He twisted his own arm painfully to break my grip, gathering his clothes and moving across the room from me, where he ended falling again, and we watched each other for a long moment. My heart cried for him to come back but the words froze in my throat. Goten dressed as I watched, unable to move, and after a moment he rose for the door.
"Goten," I tried finally as he reached the door. "It's almost morning." The words stung my throat. "Leave then."
Goten shook his head slowly, and I could tell he wanted to be away from me.
"I'll stay here, you won't have to worry about me. Go to the guest room." I didn't get any acknowledgement from him, and he remained there by the door as he seemed to want to say something.
"Fine," I told him. "I'll leave." I took my clothing and went to the guest room down the hall, hearing nothing in the hallway through my cracked door. And for a few hours I think I slept.

Exposure, part 2