Sunflowers
A song-fic by Chocolate-chan ^_^
I know where you go when you want to fall
Why do you want to be broken?
Trunks flew low over the canopy of the forest, scanning
down below for a trace of anyone. There was nothing in sight; no
human movement, no ki signatures...
I know where you go when you want to fall
Yes your friends they tell me everything
Trunks had spent the better part of the afternoon
searching. He'd asked the group of rather strung-out individuals
his best friend usually got his kicks from associating with after
class where he had gone. "I guess home..."
"He said something about training," one of the girls
suggested. "He looked like he really needed to blow off some
steam."
With that in mind, Trunks had used the Son home as a starting
point and searched above the grounds they usually trained at,
only half expecting him to be there. Trunks was far less than
surprised when he instead found the small orange bulk of Goten
sitting in a small huddle on a rock in the middle of the river,
not too far from a modest waterfall.
"Goten..." Trunks hovered near him. "I was worried
about you."
Goten looked up, his dark eyes a little too clear and liquid. The
rest of his face was pale and swollen from crying. He looked
blankly at his best friend as though he hadn't registered a word
of it. He licked his lips. "...What..?"
Yes I know where you go; yes I know what you do
Yes I know the awful things you say and who you say them to
"What was it this time, Chibi?"
Goten was silent. Trunks motioned for him to move over on the
rock and sat beside him, watching the violent shatter of water
against sharp rocks. "You're thinking about your Mom again,
aren't you..."
Goten's round face fell, his expression so dark it seemed to
phase his presence out. "I know I shouldn't. Just sometimes
I can't help it." Goten glanced at him almost nervously,
licking his lips again as though they were dry. "It still
hurts."
"I know." Just two years ago Trunks had lost his own
mother, due to a robbery in the city. For a long time he had
given up training, feeling guilty that he and his father had been
on a training trip and too far away to help his mother or even
know what was going on. Goten's mother had been dead for five
months, of a heart attack. "You need to think of the good
things about her that you want to remember."
"What the hell do you know?" Goten sulked, angry, but
Trunks forgave him. He knew he had done much worse back then.
"You helped keep me sane then, Goten, after Kaa-san died.
When you reminded me of things about her that I loved most, I
felt so much better. Then I would remember she was gone and feel
sad again, but each time the pain was less sharp." Trunks
had vowed to himself time and again that he would allow nothing
to depress Goten as much as he had been then. He was determined
to help his best friend as the dark-haired one had done,
selflessly, for him.
Yes I know where you go, yes I know what you do
"I don't want your sympathy now."
"Do you think I wanted yours then?"
"Go away, Trunks. I just... I wanna be alone." Goten
lowered his chin onto his knees and wrapped his arms around his
legs, willing the other demi-saiyan to leave him to his hurt.
"You know I won't do that."
"Just leave me alone! I can't think with you here."
"Goten-" I can't stand that look on your face....
"Trunks!" Goten was on his feet, shaking. "Please,
please don't make me..." Goten bit his lip in some type of
internal agony. "Leave me alone or I'll... I'll make
you!"
Maybe we can work out some of that stress, then.
"Come on, Chibi. Take a swing at me."
Goten powered up, glaring daggers from his flawless aquamarine
eyes.
"Right here." Trunks pointed to his jaw, standing as
well with his arms relaxed. He stared back at Goten, who shook
silently.
Goten sank down to his knees on the rock, holding his head.
"Please..."
I know how you feel, you get crazy inside
They say it runs in the family
"You look like your father," Trunks told him.
Goten looked up at him with a pathetic expression.
"What are you...?" Goten swallowed, his hair falling
down into slightly damp black strands that were still wilder than
human hair. His face was so pale that Trunks felt a shudder pass
through his own shoulders.
"He looked like that when he learned your mother died. He
still looks like that sometimes. And so do you."
"You're lucky..." Goten vowed. "You're lucky I
can't hit you now."
"Why not?"
"It wouldn't be fair, cause you won't hit me back."
Goten brushed his palm across his face, his dark eyes opening
onto the water after a long blink, turning white from the
reflection of the sun re-reflecting in his eyes.
Trunks kneeled down beside him. "I don't want to see you cry
anymore, Chibi..."
Goten looked up at him slowly.
I know just how you feel when you get crazy inside
Your mom, she says that you are just like me
"I have an idea," Trunks said aloud, fighting
a shiver from the stillness of Goten's usually warm eyes.
"Why don't you and I spend some time together, Goten?"
He smiled gently. "We haven't had any time to ourselves in a
long time."
"I know," Goten said softly, looking away as though
something had occurred to him.
"Did I..." Trunks lifted a hand to his friend's face,
cupping his soft, sticky wet cheek. "Did I hurt you,
Chibi?" Goten was quiet, as though he was dumbfounded by
Trunks' blue gaze. "I'm sorry... let me make it up to
you."
"Things got outta whack," Goten said softly.
"Kaa-san had been saying I needed to talk to you, that I've
been ..different..."
I can see it in your eyes
I can see your shaking hands
Yes I think you think I'm stupid, you don't think I understand
Goten still looked unsteady. Trunks had cleared it with
Goku, who turned a grateful look on Trunks as though his concern
for his offspring had been a paramount issue to him for some
time.
Camping with Trunks... Goten washed his face in the
stream and smiled slightly. "It's been forever."
"What's forever, Chibi?" Trunks thunked him on the back
of the head gently.
"Nothing," Goten said. "I'm hungry!"
"I'm glad." Trunks looked down at his suddenly smiling
eyes with surprise and a sensation of warmth flooding his chest. I
missed that smile. "What do you want?"
The two chorused, "Food!"
I see you and I see myself when I was a younger man
Goten emerged from a tall stand of grasses with an
expression as though he had meant to come out the other side.
Trunks had announced at dinner that first night, "We're not
just camping."
Goten had shoved something slightly identifiable as food into his
mouth, uttering a sloppy- yet cute-looking "Oh yeah?"
"We're going to find the dragonballs," Trunks announced
happily. "We're missing school for two weeks!"
"You mean...?" Goten looked up at him blankly.
"All things have their time, Goten-chan...." Trunks had
dreaded that question in his eyes.... To wish for Kaa-san
back?
"I know..." His face had dropped.
Now he seemed completely intent on the task at hand.
When you were a child, you were happy and free
You were my reason to live; I would die when you smiled at me
When we were little, we had the best time finding
dragonballs... but this is the first time I didn't care about the
wish. Trunks took a breather, on the cliff.
"I found it!" Goten cried, emerging from the grass once
again, straight up, grinning wildly at the purple-haired
princeling.
"Alright, Chibi! That's four!" Trunks flew to
meet him, and Goten held the unbreakable glass in his hand for a
moment, rolling the cool palm-sized marble against his hand. Then
he put it in the knapsack with a smile.
"Hey look," Trunks said as they flew back toward their
campsite. "A stand of sunflowers. Didn't they used to be
your favorite?" Goten's face fell, and Trunks stopped
midair, followed unwillingly by Goten.
"I used to bring my mom sunflowers...."
I can still see you, I remember you painted sunflowers in your
room.
"You mean when we were little, and...?"
Goten turned his face away and flew on.
I know where you go when you want to fall
Hey don't you want to be happy?
"You know..." Trunks pushed aside a stand of
ferns as he came upon the place where Goten had gone to try and
hide, and be sad. "As I recall, your mother always said
something like, 'What the hell am I supposed to do with these
sunflowers?' They didn't exactly fit in her vases or in her
kitchen or her living room... she thought they were lovely but
they always ended up in your room."
Goten looked steadily at his feet, but a smile ghosted across his
face.
"Can't you see that look she used to get?"
Goten made a soft noise. "She used to tell me she loved my
sunflowers but bring her back some violets or something small
too." He raised his head slightly. "She'd put them on
the table and we'd eat sunflower seeds."
"You used to make me help you pick them. And carry them.
They were bigger than we were." Trunks grinned and leaned
against a tree. "We started out with a dozen each and were
lucky to make it with three."
"I like sunflowers," Goten said at last with a small
shrug. "They're.... happy."
"I brought you a sunflower." Maybe
you could be happy...?
I know where you go when you want to fall
Your useless friends they tell me everything, everything
"I remember when people would come to me after
class, saying someone said something to you and you left
crying." Trunks moved over to him with the large sunflower,
which Goten took and regarded as though it were a math test, kind
of blank.
"I just remember thinking then about how you never used to
be sad, and how I missed it. I don't want you to be
unhappy."
Goten looked up at him with incipient wetness in his eyes. His
lips parted, then clamped shut as tears spilled without so much
as a blink.
I see you run around in circles, I see you digging your own hole
I see you fight the past I see you just can't win
"I wish I could do something, anything to take that
pain away." Trunks found himself whispering as he leaned
down over Goten and brushed the tears from his face. "I was
like you once, and I don't know if I'd be here now without
you."
"I know I... don't consider you," Goten said at last,
dragging the words past a gasp that tried to break loose.
"I'm sorry, I always forget to tell myself about how much
you were hurting then..."
"It's my turn, Chibi. I just want to make sure you're
okay."
I see you losing self control
What it does to me deep down inside I hope you will never know
"Kaa-san said... that you and I were closer than
Gohan-nii-chan and I. She always wondered what happened. And
whenever she said it I'd feel sad, and..." Goten brought the
sunflower to his face, as though deriving comfort from it would
hurt him less than his friend's attentions. Tears slid down to
drop like a crystal patterning on the flower.
Trunks felt something wrench to a stop in his chest. He dropped
to his knees in front of the dark-haired teen, taking his hands
in his own. "I'm sorry... I want it to be different now. We
can't forget about each other."
Goten looked as though he hardly dared believe. He blinked and
some of the drops fell onto their clasped hands, but he nodded.
"Hai!"
When you were a child you were happy and free
You were my reason to live, I would die when you smiled at me
"I remember back then when we were little, my world
revolved around you. I miss that. I miss you, us." Trunks
bit his lip. Was he giving too much away? "I miss waking up,
and the most important thought being 'How will Goten and I get in
trouble today?' I don't want to lose you, you're my best
friend..."
"You won't," Goten vowed, and he sank to his own knees
in front of Trunks, the two of them tangled up instantly somehow,
in a hug that neither could come to break.
I can still see you, painting flowers on the wall
I remember you happy, I remember it all
"Gotcha!" Goten tagged Trunks just as they
flew above sunflowers, and his purple-haired friend was
preoccuppied with thoughts of their conversation the other day.
The two took a head-first dive into the flowers, and rolled
around among the stalks, growing wild, taller than both of them.
Goten ended up on the bottom, the two of them laughing. Trunks
pinned him down with hands against his chest, straddling him and
laughing from being tickled.
Goten's dark eyes smiled secretively up at him, as though daring
him to proclaim himself the winner. "Got you,"
he returned.
Goten was silent. His hands reached up, taking one of Trunks'
with his. His eyes met the blue ones above him as he drew the
hand upward, kissing Trunks' fingertips softly, letting each one
brush against his lips.
Yeah when you were a child you were happy and free
You were my reason to live; I would die when you smiled at me
Trunks panted as he stared down at him, breathless from
exertion and hesitancy. Goten's lips moved down, embracing his
palm, his wrist. He closed his eyes as he moved, but when his
fingertips settled on the inside of Trunks' other wrist, feeling
his fluttering heartbeat, he looked up and smiled. His face was
that same bright round beam of happiness that Trunks knew.
I can still see you, I remember you painted sunflowers in your
room
Ooh Sunflowers in your room.....
Somehow, with that look in his eyes, Trunks knew without
asking. He took a shaky breath. "You know, you always
reminded me of a sunflower. Your face is always round and happy,
and you... you always made me so happy..."
"I love you," Goten told him, looking up at him.
All I want to remember, pretty pictures on the wall
I remember you happy, I remember it all
"I'm really glad that we're here together now....
because I can finally tell you, how much I've needed you."
Goten was looking up at him with an expression between hope and
fondness. "How I needed you....."
"Goten..." Trunks gazed at him, only seeing that
renewed light in his eyes and the dark color that stained his
cheeks, that brightness brought from laughter and emotion.
All I want to remember...
"Let's forget. Let's forget, if even only for a
little while that there's anything anywhere, or anyone, but
us." The words came easily from Goten's lips as his eyes
locked searchingly onto his friend's.
"I love you," Trunks whispered, feeling a little giddy
and so so light...
Sunflowers in your room
Trunks held Goten to him, feeling the other's arms go around him
and hold onto him tightly. Trunks buried his face in Goten's
hair, but was somehow only able to smell the sunflowers.........
*~*~*~*~ Oshimai
"Sunflowers" is by Everclear. I hope I got the words
right, working without the virtue of a CD! I heard the chorus and
thought "Oh...how Goten-type-kawaii!" You like, maybe?